Weekly Bulletin of the Catholic Community of the Family Foundation School
Pauca Verba (a few words)
Number 49 – November 22, 2009
We’ll spend the next month getting ready for Christmas in every conceivable way: shopping, decorating, going out, going home, what’s on the menu? How about some inner getting ready? Does Christmas make you feel “traditional” and maybe “old-fashioned”? IT’S SO TRADITIONAL TO MAKE A GOOD CONFESSION BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
Is there some particularly shameful thing I’ve done (even from years ago) that leaves me unsettled and distracted – something that niggles at me, whispering, asking to be disclosed?
Do I have a secret relationship going on here or at home? Am I doing dishonest things around here in hidden places?
In this school there are a number of official positions or designations: sponsor, anchor, buddy, shadow, dorm leader, crew leader. Messenger is not one of those designations. Have I allowed myself to become a messenger for or between other people?
Do I think I’m honest because I tell people exactly what I feel, what’s on my mind, what my opinion is?
Am I living here basically unshared – a mystery – waiting it out – biding my time – circling above everyone – watching – assessing – judging? Eighteen (18) is everything to me – my magic number.
When I go out on visits do I sneak things back into this place undetected? Like winter mice, do I have anything stashed away or safely hidden here or at home?
Do I have anything going on at home – with or without my parents’ knowledge/permission – that is not permitted or morally wrong – that I’m uncomfortable with, or which I know needs to be disclosed? Do I have a secret understanding with one or even both parents? Sometimes in this school we become the most honest person in our blood family.
Is there some way in which I am consciously obstructionist – undermining or blocking the work or purpose of this community? Do I try to incite negativity or trouble around here?
How do I have people fooled around here? Is there some important piece of the puzzle I’m not attending to? Am I exploiting (using or taking advantage of) anyone around here?
How am I failing my parents, my siblings, the staff? Who am I faking-out around here? Who do I manipulate around here?
Do I have a secret life with staff – a “go to” person with whom I can commiserate, get privileges, get negative with, hide my secret home-life with?
Is my mind a private “neighborhood” of hate, dirty-ness, schemes, lies? Is there something that needs to be said to the people in my household or some particular person here or at home in order to get clean and free?
Who am I holding grudges against around here? People I refuse to forgive? Don’t come to Bethlehem withholding forgiveness. Don’t come to Bethlehem with a hardened, hateful heart.
So the Christmas story will tell us that there wasn’t any room for the Holy Child’s birth. Anyway, he prefers to be born in hearts. What am I harboring in my heart that I know has to go if there’s to be room for the Infant Christ on Christmas night? Confess it.
Am I skipping out of Mass on Sundays? How good God is to us, sharing himself with us utterly from the crib of Bethlehem and the cross of Calvary. Why do we make such excuses not to worship God on Sunday; why such sad and lazy-indifference?
The Italian Christmas carol sings of the Little Christ being born in the cave, “as cold as ice.” What about my heart? As cold as ice?
Is my sense of humor coarse and rude, vulgar and tickled by stupid or sad things? Do I act my age? Do people say to me, “Grow up!”
“We’re only as sick as our secrets.”
