Roderick O.

Every prayer time in Talbot House we sit silently and meditate for before we start. We do this to center ourselves and better our connection with our higher power. When meditation is over, I choose a psalm to read from the bible, one usually reflecting my feelings for that day. My friend Sebastian S., who leads prayer time with me, reads a story from the AA book. One story in particular had more of an effect on my spiritual life than any religious service that I had attended gone to the entire week.

The story reminded me how blessed I am to be at this school. (Talbot House has recently gotten some new students that have been struggling with adjustment and acceptance so I thought this was perfect for them.) I expressed my feelings of gratitude for the school to the whole family. I told everyone that instead of looking at this school as a punishment that they should look at it as a gift from God. Not everyone gets a chance like we do to redefine our lives. Some people take the opportunity for granted and I don’t want my family members to miss the chance. I hope they take it to heart.

By Ileana A.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” When I heard this quote, by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, this morning during chapel, I was quite struck with the idea that I am not a human being. Oddly, there was also a sense of immediate relief. I felt freer after hearing those words.

I am not a human being.

It never occurred to me that I, who usually talks about having a soul, or an inner spirit, could actually be that inner spirit having a human body and living in a human world. I suppose the sense of relief comes from realizing that it is okay to feel awkward and foreign in new situations. And even better, that it is completely normal and natural to be seeking help from and giving thanks to something spiritual and soul-like and mystical. Indeed, I was made in the image of my Higher Power.

I am a spiritual being.

By Ileana A.

With the start of the season of Advent, Christmas is in the air here at The Family Foundation School. The families have been decorated and there is talk about the upcoming shopping trip. This week’s nondenominational chapel service focused on just that. According to statistics, America spends an average of $450 billion on Christmas gifts each year. If you were to ask a child what Christmas was about, they would most likely respond with “presents!”

However, Advent is about waiting for Jesus and preparing for the celebration of his birth. Having Christmas spirit is really about giving, not about receiving useless presents that are quickly forgotten after being used two or three times. And it’s not about giving those useless presents either. It is about giving of yourself, your time, and your love. Jesus would have us do as he did, and spend time helping people in need.

During the chapel service, we watched a short clip from www.adventconspiracy.org that really hit the nail on the head. This year, I plan to spend as much time possible helping people here at the school. Presents are nice, but rarely do I remember who gave me what. However, I’ll always remember the people who have been there for me.

By Ileana A.

This week’s chapel message comes from Matthew 20: 1-16. “For the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.” The householder and the laborers agreed to the wage of one denarius for a day’s work. The householder continued to go out and find more laborers throughout the day. At the end of the day, the householder had his steward pay each worker one denarius, starting with those who got their last and finishing with those who got their first. Of course, the workers who got there first grumbled and complained that it wasn’t fair.

To me, this is life. No matter who comes first or last, we all have equal opportunity to be blessed. It doesn’t matter whether you get there first or not, because in God’s eyes, as long as we get there, we deserve his love. I liken this to life here at The Family Foundation School as well. Some students dive into the program and start doing the right thing quickly, and others work the program in their own time. In the end however, no one is better than the other because we all get the same rewards.

By Ileana A.

This week I had a real spiritual experience. Tuesday evening I was reading from the Book of Job 38:1-42:6. While I was reading it, I realized that I was reading perfect third step material: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. In the Book, Job started to question God’s actions, wondering why bad things were happening to him if he always did good. The Lord spoke to Job in the midst of a storm and asked him if he knew how God created the world. The Lord told Job that he did not know where God kept all the rain, snow, and hail. The Lord was the one who made the horses strong. The Lord was the one who put the stars in their rightful places. And so on.

As I read this, I realized how little I knew about the world and how it works. A calm came over me, because if I know nothing yet everything still works well, then I don’t need to have control over anything! God has it all worked out! I went on to read some Psalms and got comfort from being able to relate to people from thousands of years ago.

Crazier yet, the next morning, Paul led us in chapel and we read bits of the same Book of Job and the same Psalms that had hit me the previous day. I walked out from the chapel that morning knowing that God had given me a sign. Upon reflecting, I know that I must continue working a strong third step, because whenever I try to control life and act as if I know it all, my life spins right out of control.

Image via Wikipedia

By Ileana A.

During this week’s Wednesday morning chapel, we students heard a story about an old woodcutter:

There was a poor old woodcutter who only had one son and a beautiful white horse. All the people in his village wanted his horse but he told them that the horse was his friend. How could he sell his friend?

Then one day the horse went missing. The village taunted him and said, “We told you someone would rob you, you are too poor to protect such a valuable horse. You have been cursed.”

The old man told them not to speak so quickly. “How can you know if the horse was stolen? All of this is judgment. You cannot say that I am cursed.”

Fifteen days later, the beautiful white horse returned. He had run into the forest and brought back a dozen wild horses. Because of this the village sought the woodcutter’s forgiveness.

“You are blessed to have such horses,” they said. But once again the old man told them not to judge.

The old man’s son began to break in the horses but one day he fell of a horse and broke both his legs.

The village gathered again and said, “You really are cursed! Now you are poorer than ever.” But the old man told them again to judge not.

A few weeks later, the village was asked to send all its boys to war with a neighboring country. But since the woodcutter’s son had lost his legs, he did not have to go.

The villagers gathered once more and said, “You were right, it was not a curse. We will never see our sons again but yours will stay with you.”

And the old man had enough. “It is impossible to talk with you! We must not draw conclusions. Who are we to say what is a curse and what is not? We only know a fragment of the story.”

This story, though simple and quaint, seemed to speak truths that many of us turn a blind eye to. We all have judgments on the things that happen to us and around us. Either something is good or bad or unnecessary. However, we have no control over what happens. It is an illusion that we use to comfort ourselves. When something “bad” happens in our lives, it can turn out to be a blessing later. For example, it was really bad when I arrived at The Family Foundation School, however, now I know how much of a blessing it is for me to be here. Just as the woodcutter tried to tell the villagers, I learned that I cannot control life and whatever happens, happens for a reason.

By Ileana A.

Recently I have been struggling with the concept of forgiveness. Especially forgiveness toward my past actions and myself. During chapel this week, several of the services spoke about Jacob and his dream of angels ascending and descending a ladder. After the dream, Jacob set a pillar of rocks where he slept and named it for the place of God.

It is hard for me to believe that God could send Jacob such a dream if Jacob was the one who stole his brother’s birthright, which in the Jewish tradition was the father’s blessing and inheritance. I do not understand why God would want a spiritual connection with a sinner. Yet, when I think of my parents, I understand; I am a sinner and I’ve wronged them many times, but they still love me.

I suppose that this reading is a message for me and others who find it difficult to forgive themselves: God can accept and forgive the wrongs of others and show them the way to Him. Parents forgive their children without a second thought. Why can I not forgive myself?

I’ve been told over and over again how much potential I have and how much I am loved. And I know that I am most definitely trying hard to reverse my wrongs. If I can forgive others that do the same things I do, then I should be able to forgive myself. I know I am worth it just as much as they are, perhaps I just need to work on really believing it. I pray that forgiveness will soon come to my heart.

By Ileana A.

“If the invitations open to every heart that has been broken, maybe then we’ll close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade.” These are the lyrics to one of the school’s popular Wednesday chapel songs sung by Casting Crowns. Hearing it this week, it was a reminder to all of us that spirituality is open to everyone. The song talks about how some people go to service but are really doing it as an act. The message is that worship isn’t about making yourself look like a good person but rather to heal your brokenness.

Being brought up in a Catholic family, I remember going to mass every Sunday morning and looking around in awe at all the people there. I often wondered whether these people acted the same outside of the church as they did inside of it. I remember distinctly seeing some people sanitize their hands after passing the peace and thinking wow, how very pretentious. However, now I know that there could be other reasons for this; insecurities, fears, etc. Who was I to judge anyway? Now, whenever I go to a service, I stay true to myself and participate in my beliefs. Yes, I may sometimes be judged and looked at strangely because I might be too enthusiastic about worship, but it doesn’t matter to me because I know I am no longer acting out a part that society expects me to play. I have closed the curtain on my stained glass masquerade.